on being true to yourself

as i near a point of big change in my life (graduation, moving cities, settling into a new home, a new job, a new career, first year of married life living together…) i can’t help but reflect on decisions i’ve made and how they now affect my present and will affect my future.

when we got engaged, we had to deal with our share of negative energy – people who thought we were too young, people who were jealous, people who had ‘advice’ we really didn’t want to hear. and then when we wanted to get married while i was in law school, we again had to deal with criticism of that decision. but you see, for us, getting engaged was, yes, about that next step in our relationship. but even bigger than that, it was also about making choices that glorify God.

husband and i knew we would never live together before marriage. it was more than just physical temptation and sex. there is an ebb and flow of creating a life, habits, routines, traditions, family together that we held as sacred. it was something we wanted to create with the assurance of God’s blessing.

our wedding day was pure magic. and to our delight, our love had deepened, we could feel the solid foundation of commitment beneath us, holding us up, and drawing us closer together. and as we spent the next four weeks together, the joy of living together really resounded for us. it was so new, so incredible, and so satisfying. and we were so grateful that we chose to wait to live together. because had we done so, we would have truly robbed ourselves of those moments. i know that the moment of ‘moving in together’ is special for couples who choose it, but i can say with certainty that every emotion and experience is magnified by marriage.

it also made me think of why so many couples hit a low after their wedding day. there is so much excitement building up to that special and incredible day, and then they return back to the life and home they’ve already established, they can’t help but ask themselves, “i thought things were supposed to feel different now?” or “so that’s it?” whereas for us, the high continued. and because we have yet to live a full year together yet, it still continues!

i have unmarried friends who live together now. while in law school, i would sometimes feel sad that my husband and i didn’t have that opportunity. that we were missing out. (i should say, these include the years we were dating and engaged!) but now that we’re graduating, i see how many of these couples are going to have to stop living together, either due to where they’ll be working, financial reasons, familial reasons etc. while on the flipside, husband and i have bought our first home, and finally get to start living together! this was another moment of gratitude for me, as i thanked God for the strength He gave us to wait, to be patient, and make the right choices. choices that now anchor us together, that despite the season of separation and fighting temptation, we now get to spend the foreseeable future together 🙂 and all with His blessings supporting us.

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One thought on “on being true to yourself

  1. This is incredible. It is definitely a reality for couples our age to struggle with whether or not to live together before marriage. Being in a Christian relationship can make things difficult at times because of the rules that God has set out for us, but I know it will be worth it once we’re married. Thank you for sharing this and I pray that God would continue to bless and strengthen your marriage!

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